He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
