I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
