where am i from again
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
