Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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