i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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