my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
