Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
