If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize