I don't think brook has ever known best
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
