I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
