Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
