After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
