I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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