I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize