i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
