Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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