so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
