her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
