where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A bitchslap is in order.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
