Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
jump out the window naked night went bad
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