Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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