Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
