Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
