He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize