fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
