so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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