I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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