You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
