hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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