And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
