your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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