Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
