i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He shit in the fireplace
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
