worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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