hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
