Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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