I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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