Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
