whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
