hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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