she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
