How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
