apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
