I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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