I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
