I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
