So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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