I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
