Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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