She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
