i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
