Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
