she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
