And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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