She is in my trunk
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
