Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize