If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
