So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
