Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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