I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize