Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
