I smell stomach acid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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