I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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