She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize