I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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