Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I cannot find my penis.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
