It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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