I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
