He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
