After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
