Already got asked if we're dating
So many bounce houses so little time
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
