return my video game
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize