I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
