He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
