Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
