I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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