This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize