I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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