he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
