i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
